Application of new Relationship skills required

Due to continuous work pressure and technology advancement relationships blurred and has affected one's home and workplace, compelling spouses find little time for relaxation.

It has become increasingly difficult to find a way to strike a balance between work and family time as women today no longer need men to provide and protect on a physical level. Nowadays, in fulfilling our ambitions and achieving excellence all our emotional energies are pointed towards work. We separate and move off our relationships in different directions. Work primarily dominates our thinking process both at work and home.

There are so many problems in relationship today as we just don't understand each other and men, in particular, don't understand what women need in order to become happy and women don't know how to explain their needs in a language that men understand which often leads to a bevy of relationship misunderstandings.

Most couples crave for 'exclusive time' with their spouse, goes haywire due to demanding work environment and due to this, professional stress taking a toll on their conjugal life.

Those women who has choosen to stay at home and married to high profile executives time and again find their relationship in rock as their husband spend most of the time in office to meet deadlines and targets. So there is absolutely no fun, no romance and sex life dejected and unhappy.

Due to workaholic environment family life has become miserable and there's more marital discord as couples are emotionally distant from each other and thoughts of separation and divorce crop up.

The solitary antidote to misery, hopelessness, depression and desolation is the application of new relationship skills based on new job description for both men and women.

Woman Is Man's Soulmate When Love Grows

More often than not a man will be unable to make a commitment because he compares his new partner to some perfect fantasy woman of his dreams. He may love a woman, but wonder if he is making the right decision to be with her! He wants to make sure he gets the best woman he can. By expecting his soulmate to be perfect, he does not give himself a chance to find true and lasting love.

To find a wife of his dreams is a daunting task. It needs much effort or skill to find the wife of his dreams. After marriage one spend the rest of his life with her. Man look for a soulmate and also the mother of his future children. If one is lucky to have come across a girl and both of have fallen in love with each other then one is naturally not faced with the problem of looking for a wife.

But man postpones making a commitment because he is expecting perfection. He imagines that his soulmate is perfect. He does not have a realistic perspective of relationship and people. A soulmate is not a perfect person. In fact, there is no such person. A soulmate is perfect for him.

The realization that a woman is man's soulmate happens when love grows, the perfect way to know if our partner is right for us. This recognition is not a mental assessment. It is a natural knowing.

The right person for us is recognized by our souls and not by our mind. The soul does not figure things out. If we try to figure out if a partner is right then we will be judging her from our mind. If we continue to judge her from our mind's perspective we will find an array of flaws. So to pick a soulmate we must choose from our soul.

There are several ways you can meet and get the wife of your dreams. It could be in the dance, meditation or yoga class. You could meet her on a cruise or at a charitable organization. Joining dance classes is another common way of meeting partners. Men and women cannot dance without a partner and you are sure to meet women here, with whom you can interact on a one-to-one basis. Other classes are yoga or aerobic classes, where most of the members are women. It could be enjoyable for you and you can get fit at the same time.

Did you know that most charitable organizations are run by women? And most of the people working there are also women. You could offer some time and try to assist to one of the neighbourhood charitable organizations and it would help you to interact with the women who work there. You will appear to them as a caring person for volunteering to work for them and sparing them the time.

Ideally we should use our minds to figure out how we most efficaciously give and receive love and support. As we succeed in the dating process by using our minds, our hearts begin to open. With an open heart, a relationship can grow to a greater height.

When men loves women they begins to shine with love, happiness, joy and contentment. Mostly men expect that this sparkle to last forever. But to expect their loving nature to be constant is like sun to shine all the time. What men donn't understand that life is filled with a particular pattern of this kind - day and night, summer and winter, cloudy and clear. Men should be aware that a woman's ability to give and receive love in her relationship is generally a reflection of how she is feeling about herself.

Love Without Ego Is Prayer

You may feel like everything is great in your relationship. But if you don't continue to work on it, if you don't renew your commitment everyday, it will quickly disintegrate. A relationship takes constant effort to keep it fresh and alive.

You should have a good characteristic in your persona : Love, because love can create trouble as well as joy. And since love can create great trouble and can create great joy as well one has to be always awake since love is our basic chemistry. If you are alert about your love energy then everything goes in the right direction.

You will never be in trouble if you always love something higher than yourself, something bigger than yourself. What people does they tend to love something lower than themselves, something smaller than themselves. You can always control the smaller, you can always dominate the smaller so as to feel good within yourself, so as to feel satisfactory within yourself. Since you can feel good with the inferior because you feel superior - your ego is fulfilled. The moment you create ego in your love.........the journey to hell begins; because fact remains that when you live fully ego disappears and when ego lives fully you disappear!

Always love something higher, something bigger in which you can be lost and which you cannot control - you can be possessed by it but you cannot possess it. Then you live fully and ego disappears; and love without ego is prayer.

God Is Love

Men and women thinks that sharing their bed with their spouse just fulfills the true meaning of love. In fact, they are not making love, they are trying to get hold of this materialistic world by climbing the ladder of sex.

Love is altogether different. Love is purity - love brings great purity. In fact it is love which can bring purity; other kinds of purity are cultivated, artificial. Love brings purity which can occur as a result of an unplanned impulse, it comes on its own accord; you don't do anything about it. When you are in love, purity surrounds you like a fragrance - a pleasant, sweet smell.

Let's not think about the purity in a religious way; that kind of purity is just a practiced thing, it is cover with a mask. Deep inside you remain the same, or you become very skilful in empty gestures or intentions. That purity is not genuine and thus phony.

The real purity has not to be practiced, it cannot be practiced : love brings it. One has to go deep into love and suddenly the gift comes. The gift is purity! The risk is love; purity is a gift. One who risks, gets it. It is a reward given in recognition from heaven. It is not managed, it is an elegance of movement.

Make real love notwithstanding the fact that you were in love with a person who donot know the true meaning of love. In fact, love has no name. You cannot define love, you cannot say what it is? You can be in love, you can experience love, you can help others to experience love, but there is no way you can define love. Millions of people have loved, millions of people have experienced the joy of it, the mystery of it, but not a single definition exists in the world.

That's the case with god as well. That's why Jesus says 'God is Love'. Both love and god are indefinables. God is unknown to us, but love is little bit known. So let's start from love. From love to god, that's the whole way or track to move. From one definable that is available to another definable that is not available. But because both are indefinable and nameless, there is something that is similar that bridges them.

Your Love Life Can Become A Festival Of Lights!

Mind creates illusions about everything and then gets disillusioned and disturbed. You love a man, you love a woman - you create a certain illusion about the man or the woman. It is only illusion and not the truth. Truth is you are actually imposing an image in your mind. Image you have created will be upset greatly soon, since no illusion can last long against reality.

And by the time you understand that things are not the way you had imagined them to be, you shift the whole responsibility on the other person. Then a woman who was beautiful turns out to be an unpleasant woman and a man you had thought to be a gentleman turns to be a henpecked husband. You will shift the responsibility by saying that he deceived you by pretending to be something that he was not, that she was pretneding to be one of the many beautiful women with all the make-up that she was not.

All of us wants to love; all of us wants to be loved but the mind is the only barrier which does not really allow you to love, nor does it allow you to be loved. Actually mind comes in the way and starts distorting everything. Because for twenty-five years of your education you have been conditioned by this society to go by your mind and forget your heart! Mind can only do calculation but your heart can sing a song.

Your love life, your relationship fails for the simple reason that your minds are cultivated differently. The two minds are conditioned in a different way, brought up with different ideas, filled with different programs. This conditioning process should be completely changed. The mind should be trained to be a servant of the heart because only then your illusions will fall away and sooner you will be able to live without illusions, without hallucinations - means live in peace, live in silence; and then to celebrate the life which can become a festival of lights!

Shift in Relationship skills required

There has been lot of socio-economic vicissitudes for the past fifty years which has very largely affected traditional men and women roles. Women are no longer mothers, nurturers and homemakers because modern women are now leaving the home and joining workplace has minimised men’s traditional value to women. Women are now independent and self-sufficient and no longer feel the same value for men to provide for her and her children or protect them.

Women now make a map of her own destiny and does everything of her own be it in-door or out-door. She can now face any danger and call police or take the support of our legal system. Modern women are not biologically determined to have children and be dependent on men any longer. She now have more control over child birth and knows when and how many factor! In fact there has been a shift in relationships which have resulted from the complete use of birth control all over and the following sexual far –reaching change or revolution.

Modern men tend to forget that they no longer have the job they held for centuries. They are no longer appreciated as providers and protectors. Things now have changed dramatically because their role in a family and their earnings are not enough to make their spouse happy. Modern women need much more!

On the other hand women are really overworked as they have to sustain work and effort both at home and outside. After a full time job men cannot expect their wives to be relaxed, sensitive and pleasing to them. Any woman will obvisouly expect help from her husband in daily chores of life.

In fact we are now utterly dependent on each other both for security and survival and the relationship skills and strategies that we have learnt from our forefathers no longer work! Men and women now must learn skills to develop relationships as we mainly look for love and romance and happiness, intimacy and lasting passion are now requirements for fulfilling relationships.

Emotional Bank Account is mandatory in a Relationship

Men and Women considers marriage a solemn agreement, a covenant life-long relationship is made a business proposition nowadays. So much precious money flows down the drain: lavish and luxurious feasting, resulting in the mendous wastage of food, extravagant illuminations in an environment of power crisis.

Men and women tend to forget that marriage is not a business proposition rather it is building up of a high Emotional Bank Account. In a life-long relationship we build the foundation of character in order to maintain and build a sweet relationship. The trust, the Emotional Bank Account, is the essence of a nice relationship. We all know what a financial bank account is? Whenever possible we make desposits into it and create a bank balance in order to make withdrawals whenever we need to. Whereas an Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It is nothing but a feeling of safe custody or safeness you have with another human being.

You make deposits in the name of courtesy, kindness, honesty and keeping commitments in your Emotional Bank Account and build up a reserve. As the time goes by in a relationship with those deposits, trust levels become higher. Now, even if you make mistakes, that trust level, that emotional reserve will compensate for it. In essence, when the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant and effective.

Contrary to that if you have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, betraying trust etc, your Emotional Bank Account is overdrawn and your trust level gets very low. So, you should be very careful what you say or everything you say. You should measure every word. Otherwise, it’s a tension city!

Many relationships are filled with it. Many families are filled with it. Many marriages are filled with it. If your Emotional Bank Account is not sustained by continuing deposits, a relationship will soon deteriorate. Our most worthy relationship like marriage require our most constant deposits. With continuing expectations, old deposits continue to evaporate and you need a positive balance to communicate on these tender issues.