Love Without Ego Is Prayer

You may feel like everything is great in your relationship. But if you don't continue to work on it, if you don't renew your commitment everyday, it will quickly disintegrate. A relationship takes constant effort to keep it fresh and alive.

You should have a good characteristic in your persona : Love, because love can create trouble as well as joy. And since love can create great trouble and can create great joy as well one has to be always awake since love is our basic chemistry. If you are alert about your love energy then everything goes in the right direction.

You will never be in trouble if you always love something higher than yourself, something bigger than yourself. What people does they tend to love something lower than themselves, something smaller than themselves. You can always control the smaller, you can always dominate the smaller so as to feel good within yourself, so as to feel satisfactory within yourself. Since you can feel good with the inferior because you feel superior - your ego is fulfilled. The moment you create ego in your love.........the journey to hell begins; because fact remains that when you live fully ego disappears and when ego lives fully you disappear!

Always love something higher, something bigger in which you can be lost and which you cannot control - you can be possessed by it but you cannot possess it. Then you live fully and ego disappears; and love without ego is prayer.

God Is Love

Men and women thinks that sharing their bed with their spouse just fulfills the true meaning of love. In fact, they are not making love, they are trying to get hold of this materialistic world by climbing the ladder of sex.

Love is altogether different. Love is purity - love brings great purity. In fact it is love which can bring purity; other kinds of purity are cultivated, artificial. Love brings purity which can occur as a result of an unplanned impulse, it comes on its own accord; you don't do anything about it. When you are in love, purity surrounds you like a fragrance - a pleasant, sweet smell.

Let's not think about the purity in a religious way; that kind of purity is just a practiced thing, it is cover with a mask. Deep inside you remain the same, or you become very skilful in empty gestures or intentions. That purity is not genuine and thus phony.

The real purity has not to be practiced, it cannot be practiced : love brings it. One has to go deep into love and suddenly the gift comes. The gift is purity! The risk is love; purity is a gift. One who risks, gets it. It is a reward given in recognition from heaven. It is not managed, it is an elegance of movement.

Make real love notwithstanding the fact that you were in love with a person who donot know the true meaning of love. In fact, love has no name. You cannot define love, you cannot say what it is? You can be in love, you can experience love, you can help others to experience love, but there is no way you can define love. Millions of people have loved, millions of people have experienced the joy of it, the mystery of it, but not a single definition exists in the world.

That's the case with god as well. That's why Jesus says 'God is Love'. Both love and god are indefinables. God is unknown to us, but love is little bit known. So let's start from love. From love to god, that's the whole way or track to move. From one definable that is available to another definable that is not available. But because both are indefinable and nameless, there is something that is similar that bridges them.

Your Love Life Can Become A Festival Of Lights!

Mind creates illusions about everything and then gets disillusioned and disturbed. You love a man, you love a woman - you create a certain illusion about the man or the woman. It is only illusion and not the truth. Truth is you are actually imposing an image in your mind. Image you have created will be upset greatly soon, since no illusion can last long against reality.

And by the time you understand that things are not the way you had imagined them to be, you shift the whole responsibility on the other person. Then a woman who was beautiful turns out to be an unpleasant woman and a man you had thought to be a gentleman turns to be a henpecked husband. You will shift the responsibility by saying that he deceived you by pretending to be something that he was not, that she was pretneding to be one of the many beautiful women with all the make-up that she was not.

All of us wants to love; all of us wants to be loved but the mind is the only barrier which does not really allow you to love, nor does it allow you to be loved. Actually mind comes in the way and starts distorting everything. Because for twenty-five years of your education you have been conditioned by this society to go by your mind and forget your heart! Mind can only do calculation but your heart can sing a song.

Your love life, your relationship fails for the simple reason that your minds are cultivated differently. The two minds are conditioned in a different way, brought up with different ideas, filled with different programs. This conditioning process should be completely changed. The mind should be trained to be a servant of the heart because only then your illusions will fall away and sooner you will be able to live without illusions, without hallucinations - means live in peace, live in silence; and then to celebrate the life which can become a festival of lights!

Shift in Relationship skills required

There has been lot of socio-economic vicissitudes for the past fifty years which has very largely affected traditional men and women roles. Women are no longer mothers, nurturers and homemakers because modern women are now leaving the home and joining workplace has minimised men’s traditional value to women. Women are now independent and self-sufficient and no longer feel the same value for men to provide for her and her children or protect them.

Women now make a map of her own destiny and does everything of her own be it in-door or out-door. She can now face any danger and call police or take the support of our legal system. Modern women are not biologically determined to have children and be dependent on men any longer. She now have more control over child birth and knows when and how many factor! In fact there has been a shift in relationships which have resulted from the complete use of birth control all over and the following sexual far –reaching change or revolution.

Modern men tend to forget that they no longer have the job they held for centuries. They are no longer appreciated as providers and protectors. Things now have changed dramatically because their role in a family and their earnings are not enough to make their spouse happy. Modern women need much more!

On the other hand women are really overworked as they have to sustain work and effort both at home and outside. After a full time job men cannot expect their wives to be relaxed, sensitive and pleasing to them. Any woman will obvisouly expect help from her husband in daily chores of life.

In fact we are now utterly dependent on each other both for security and survival and the relationship skills and strategies that we have learnt from our forefathers no longer work! Men and women now must learn skills to develop relationships as we mainly look for love and romance and happiness, intimacy and lasting passion are now requirements for fulfilling relationships.

Emotional Bank Account is mandatory in a Relationship

Men and Women considers marriage a solemn agreement, a covenant life-long relationship is made a business proposition nowadays. So much precious money flows down the drain: lavish and luxurious feasting, resulting in the mendous wastage of food, extravagant illuminations in an environment of power crisis.

Men and women tend to forget that marriage is not a business proposition rather it is building up of a high Emotional Bank Account. In a life-long relationship we build the foundation of character in order to maintain and build a sweet relationship. The trust, the Emotional Bank Account, is the essence of a nice relationship. We all know what a financial bank account is? Whenever possible we make desposits into it and create a bank balance in order to make withdrawals whenever we need to. Whereas an Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It is nothing but a feeling of safe custody or safeness you have with another human being.

You make deposits in the name of courtesy, kindness, honesty and keeping commitments in your Emotional Bank Account and build up a reserve. As the time goes by in a relationship with those deposits, trust levels become higher. Now, even if you make mistakes, that trust level, that emotional reserve will compensate for it. In essence, when the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant and effective.

Contrary to that if you have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, betraying trust etc, your Emotional Bank Account is overdrawn and your trust level gets very low. So, you should be very careful what you say or everything you say. You should measure every word. Otherwise, it’s a tension city!

Many relationships are filled with it. Many families are filled with it. Many marriages are filled with it. If your Emotional Bank Account is not sustained by continuing deposits, a relationship will soon deteriorate. Our most worthy relationship like marriage require our most constant deposits. With continuing expectations, old deposits continue to evaporate and you need a positive balance to communicate on these tender issues.

Men And Women Must Learn New Relationship Skills

In the the primitive age which refers to a simple form of society that has not yet developed industry or writing men and women were peaceful partners. When women felt loved and respected because her man went out to hunt to provide for her and her children. Then the communication skills were not necessary. They depended on each other in order to survive and food, sex, shelter and security motivated them to work together.

In the present situation things have changed and even after a decade men and women are ready to give up and want to proceed for divorce. Actually many couples didn’t really want to split up but weren’t getting what they needed from each other in order to stay together.

What men donot understand is that today women are no longer mothers, nurturers and homemakers but now they are also providers and protectors.

Now the times have changed and we really have no choice but to change with them. Men and women make the mistake of assuming that love is enough to make a relationship last. What men and women don’t understand is that the relationship between husband and wife is only a preparation for a journey, not its culmination, not the end. And because it is a journey, the husband and wife are always in a state of tussle. A journey is always a tussle; peace is only to be found at the destination. There is always a state of conflict between a husband and wife; there is round the clock tussle. A round-the-clock tussle with the very person we love!

So new relationship skills must be learned if a man is to be feel needed and appreciated by his wife. A new knowledge of a situation or awareness is required of women if they are to continue working side by side with men and come home to encourage the growth and development of loving relationship.

Relationship between My Father and Mother – Truth Revealed !

I correctly remember that when I was in school and was a growing child my father revealed his secret love life to my mother that he was living a dubious life and he was passionately having affairs with a woman! My mother was aware that he had links with many beautiful women but she couldn’t imagine that his passion will gradually become so serious that he will request my mother for a divorce.

My mother was deeply hurt since she was in real love with my father and was a pious lady. Though the truth really offended her but without showing her resentment or showing any sort mental disturbance she politely said, “if that is what you want and you think you would be happy then I will give you a divorce. Let’s rethink over this issue at least for sometime before you finally decide and come into a concrete decision.”

But after a fortnight my father’s decision curbed towards my mother as if it was a charisma of Superpower. My father decided not to break this relationship and leave his family consisting of my mother, me and two of my younger sisters. My mother was very happy that he has taken a right decision considering the fact that he was a not only a husband but a father of three growing children as well.

They continued to live happily as husband and wife and support each other well but relationship went sour as the loving romance and the real art of love gradually began to disappear. For years together though my father was living physically in our family but mentally he was somewhere else and he continued his affairs outside.

When I grew up and become an adult I asked my mother why she allowed my father’s bigamy throughout her life, she answered, “we loved each other and promised to stay as husband and wife througout our life. But as time went I was more of playing a role of a mother and your father wanted a wife. Moreover, that was nothing but follies of youth.” I was really amazed how she was really accepting my father’s infidelity!

Whenever I raised my voice against my father my mother always assured me that he was a nice gentleman and he never deserted our family even if he had strong desires and we all grew nicely as a family over the years.

Now this is what a woman is known for in our society since a woman is always very kind who is always pleasing, always accommodating to maintain a relationship.

While my parent’s story is common to many people, we men and women nowadays want and expect more from our relationship and the fact remains that meaning of marriage has been altered and we no longer marry for survival and protection but for love, romance and emotional fulfillment. Personal fulfillment has become more important than the family as a whole.

What men should do is that when his wife is busy in playing a role of a mother he should have maintained celibacy. When people have attained to the state of celibacy, when the journey of sex up to superconsciousness has been completed, then too they can enjoy sex and then the child will be a true product, he will be a creation. Sex will be only a means to it!

Our search in that new world will be in the new direction of how to have a child and avoid sex as opposed to our present search of how to have sex and avoid a child. Out of celibacy a very different type of human being will be born who will have a great longevity, whose health can be wondrous, free of illnesses. Then the very beauty of one’s life, the very strength of one’s life, one’s very truth – all will be different altogether!

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